So the cool cats over at the Marijuana Policy Project have paid for and launched a 30-second television commercial that supports the legalization of marijuana (check it out below). The ad will begin airing today and features a retired 58-year-old state worker who says state leaders “are ignoring millions of Californians who want to pay taxes.”
Sure California is scrambling to close a $26.3 billion budget deficit, (they’ve even cut Drug Enforcement Agent jobs) but what’s really important is that state leaders are also ignoring millions of Californians who just want safe access to affordable medicine.
“We’re marijuana consumers,” says Nadene Herndon of Fair Oaks, who says she began using marijuana after suffering multiple strokes three years ago. “Instead of being treated like criminals for using a substance safer than alcohol, we want to pay our fair share.”
The ad will air on several cable news channels and network broadcast affiliates in Los Angeles, Sacramento and the San Francisco Bay Area, according to the Marijuana Policy Project. Unfortunately, three lame-ass California stations — KABC-TV in Los Angeles, KGO-TV of San Francisco and KNTV-TV in San Jose — are refusing to run the ad. So FUCK those stations! Who the hell still watches Desperate Housewife Bitches anyhow?
California’s budget woes could cut a third of the agents from the Bureau of Narcotics Enforcement! Attorney General Jerry Brown estimates the cuts will lead to the layoffs of nearly a third of its 187 agents.
Once marijuana does become legal, those drug enforcement jobs will be unnecessary. The state faces a projected $24.3 billion budget deficit and already is making billions of dollars in cuts to education, health care, welfare and other social programs so it’s about time out-dated, useless jobs go away instead.
Much like any other outing stoners might experience while stoned, grocery shopping is an adventure. Remember that scene in The Wizard of Oz where everything is all black and white and shit and then all of a sudden everything turns to color right as Dorothy flings open the door to Oz and Pink Floyd’s “Money“ starts playing? Well, uh…the Pink Floyd soundtrack is optional but, that scene plays out each and every time a stoner walks in to the produce section at Safeway.
Anyhow, the funny thing about stoners shopping for food is that they have an amazing knack for finding food that contains no food. Want some proof? Okay, see the dude in the sunglasses and the hoodie loitering in the cereal isle? He’s not smiling at all the low prices…he’s stoned, man. Now, go look in his shopping cart. It’s filled with things like Cap’n Chrunchula, Cheesey Poofs, FunOnions and Chocotacos and shit…all of which contain absolutely no food. See what I mean?
So check it out…some lame stoner mailman over in England was sentenced to a year in prison today for burning thousands of pieces of junk mail! Unfortunately, Neil Goddard, 32, of York, England, wasn’t trying to be all resourceful and shit using the junk mail as rolling papers or anything…he was just being lazy.
Where would be the most epic…coolest…most hip place on the planet to buy a rad pipe? If you said San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury district than you’re not alone! Yep, the district that’s world-famous for its important role as THE epicenter of the entire 1960’s counterculture revolution was just hit with a bullshit ordinance that would ban new head shops from opening! Sure, we’re sinking into a deepening recession so barring business makes absolutely no sense. 
Super buzz-killin’ Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi introduced the ordinance, which would prohibit the opening of any new businesses that sell tobacco and marijuana smoking paraphernalia for a period of three years, and sadly the shit passed a Board of Supervisors committee yesterday. And get this…the ban could be extended by a future board vote.
There’s something so very similar to admitting to being a homosexual and admitting publicly that you support the legalization of marijuana. One of our favorite (D) Congressmen, openly out-of-the-closet, Barnett “Barney” Frank known as “one of the brightest and most energetic defenders of civil rights issues”, representing the Fourth Congressional District of Massachusetts, has done both many times. And, he has just introduced a bold new bill into congress that would allow states to make their own medical marijuana laws free of federal interference. Finally!
It’s true, sometimes stoners will admit to a slight bit of paranoia right after smoking a joint, man. One minute smoking weed in a parking lot behind a Safeway seems like a really good idea and then all of a sudden you take a hit and every single person is watching you. That’s precisely why stoners love hoodies. Because to a stoner…the hooded sweatshirt is a cloaking device. Don’t want anyone starring at you while you exhale? Don’t want anyone to notice your bright red-eyes? Don’t want to entertain any conversations? Of course you don’t…you’re stoned and slightly paranoid. That’s why hoodies have hoods…up goes the hood and well, you’re now stoned and invisible (and slightly delusional).
Much like an all-over Indica-induced body high the right hoodie is like a big giant hug. A hug that wreaks of weed. The hoodie, well, to a stoner it’s a thing of comfort…a baby blanket, if you will.
Our prayers have been answered and we’re not talking about Legalization. Soon, you’ll be able to smoke a tomato to get stoned. Yep, a few days ago 
What student stoner, at some point in time, hasn’t written a persuasive essay on the Legalization movement? But, among you with your hands up in the air…how many of you punctuated your essay by smoking a joint in front of the class while presenting the said…persuasive essay? Sure, firing up a joint would make the presentation more authentic and more persuasive to a teacher and audience with a contact high…but it led to an arrest, unfortunately.