Stuff Stoners Like are happy to inspire you with what will go down in history as the greatest bastardized speech turned blog post for marijuana re-legalization in the history of our great nation.
Many fucking years ago, a great American, not to mention notable pot-smoker and staunch anti-prohibitionist—in whose symbolic shadow we stand today—Abraham Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation under the light of a hemp oil lamp! This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity…created by the very man who once proclaimed: “A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded.”
But, nearly one hundred fifty years later it’s no longer the slaves, but the stoners who are bound…bound by the shackles of marijuana prohibition! Nearly one hundred fifty years later, the life of a stoner is still sadly crippled by the manacles of adult marijuana prohibition and its insidious discrimination. Nearly one hundred fifty years later stoners live on lonely islands of misunderstanding, uncompassion and judgment in the midst of a vast ocean of lies, rhetoric, double-talk and reefer madness. Nearly one hundred fifty years later, stoners still languish in the corners of American society still finding themselves exiled in their own land. And, so we’re blogging today to dramatize this shameful flagrant bullshit.
In a sense Stuff Stoners Like are bastardizing this important speech to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note created from marijuana to which every American was to fall heir! Shamefully, that note, still to this very day, is illegal for many to possess. Shamefully, that note written on a piece of marijuana was a promise that all men, yes, stoners as well as non-stoners, would be guaranteed the “unalienable Rights” of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens who oppose marijuana prohibition are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given us all a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” A check that cannot even really be cashed legally because it’s made out of an illegal plant.
In the day and age where banks and bankers are literally and morally bankrupt we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity surrounding re-legalization. And so, we need to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom to medicate with marijuana and the security of justice to possess and cultivate it. Let marijuana grow free all across our great land. In the words of the Immortal President George Washington: “Make the most you can of the Hemp seed and sow it everywhere.”
(Some other good words are: “I support legislation amending Federal law to eliminate all Federal criminal penalties for the possession of up to one ounce of marihuana.” – Jimmy Carter
“Hemp is of first necessity to the wealth & protection of the country.” - Thomas Jefferson
“The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in this country is closely connected with this.” - Albert Einstein
“When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” – Barack Obama)
Stuff Stoners Like needs to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off as marijuana re-legalization is the zeitgeist. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy since right now in America,54% of the population 25 and older, have admittedly used marijuana. Now is the time to emerge from the shadows and into the light of safe access for all. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of a failed drug war, a decimating recession, and worsening injustice for the sick, their caregivers, and the stoned. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of Earth’s children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. Another sweltering summer of marijuana prohibition will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. 2009 is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that Stuff Stoners Like needed to just blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening as we tirelessly continue to fight for re-legalization. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until everyone is granted the right to possess, use, and cultivate marijuana. The whirlwinds of our blog will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges and marijuana becomes legal again as it was before prohibition.
But there is something that Stuff Stoners Like must say to our friends, fans, and supporters who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: In the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. (wrongful deeds aimed at Coldplay are encouraged acceptable, however) Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. (Because that would be too much like getting drunk.) We must forever conduct our struggle on the HIGH plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protests and posts to degenerate into physical violence, (unless the target is Bono, of course). Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous use of new media which has engulfed the marijuana community must not lead us to a distrust of all media sources, never ever trust FOX News under any circumstances, however. Many of our peers, as evidenced by their efforts to push re-legalization forward, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. And they have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.
We do not smoke alone. (Not that we’re opposed to getting stoned all by ourselves or anything.)
And as we smoke, we must make the pledge that we shall never choke, but always march ahead.
There are those who are asking the devotees of the marijuana movement, “When will Stuff Stoners Like be satisfied?” Stuff Stoners Like can never be satisfied as long as recreational smokers, patients, pets, caregivers, dispensary owners, and staff are the victims of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, suffering from the ailments of stress, MS, migraines, anxiety, glaucoma, suburbia, Mondays, and traffic cannot be medicated with an all-natural healing herb. The healing of the nation. We cannot be satisfied as long as the marijuana community continues to be marginalized on a mass scale now instead of just a small one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children see us being stripped of our self-hood and robbed of our dignity as we suffer without medication. We cannot be satisfied as signs stating: “For Patients Only” increase segregation by discriminating between those with “legitimate” reasons to medicate as we are all medicating for one reason or another. We cannot be satisfied as dispensaries drive prices of medicine through the roof, create laws to ban cultivating your own medicine, and forge a whole new economy fueled by corporate greed and big pharma. We cannot be satisfied as long as patients in Mississippi cannot medicate and patients in California are forced to pay for ID cards to access medicine. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until we can legally “smoke two joints before we smoke two joints and then smoke two more.”
Stuff Stoners Like is not unmindful that some of you have come to support the marijuana movement out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. And some of you have come from areas where your quest — quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive. Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Together we will re-legalize marijuana and reclaim our streets, reclaim our cities, reclaim our states…reclaim our great nation…AND RECLAIM WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS!
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, Stuff Stoners Like says to you today, our friends!
And so even though we face the difficulties of marijuana prohibition both today and tomorrow, we still have a pipe dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that one day in the marijuana farms of California, the sons of marijuana growers and the sons of former DEA agents, judges, and cops will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and toke a pipe in peace.
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that one day even the state of Utah, a state sweltering with the heat of judgment, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom, justice, and good weed.
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that one day rather than holding a Beer Summit on White House soil to discuss the so very important issue of race relations of our day in our country, that the President of the United States of America might discuss such topics while enjoying the healing herb.
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by their parent’s choice of medication but by the content of their character.
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream today!
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that one day, down in New Hampshire, (nearly the 14th state to pass favorable marijuana laws) with its suffering patients, with its ignorant governor having his lips dripping with the words of “marijuana use for any purpose remains illegal ” — one day right there in New Hampshire patients and stoners can join in a smoking circle…
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream today!
Stuff Stoners Like have a pipe dream that one day every valley shall be planted, and every hill and mountain shall be planted, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight to enhance cultivation.
This is Stuff Stoners Like hope, and this is the faith that we continue to blog with. With this faith, we will be able to sow hope, freedom, and marijuana. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to smoke together, to work together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for re-legalization together, knowing that we will be free to smoke weed one day. And this will be the day — this will be the day when all of Earth’s people will be able to sing with new meaning: Legalize it, Don’t Criticize it…
And if America is to be a great nation, we must End Marijuana Prohibition! End marijuana prohibition on the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. End marijuana prohibition in the mighty mountains of New York. End marijuana prohibition on the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania. End marijuana prohibition in the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado. End marijuana prohibition in the pot farms of California.
But not only that:
End marijuana prohibition on the Stone Mountain of Georgia.
End marijuana prohibition on the Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
End marijuana prohibition on every hill and molehill of Mississippi.
On every mountainside, end marijuana prohibition!
And when this happens, when we end marijuana prohibition and allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, stoners will be able to speed up that day when all of Earth’s children; stoners and patients, potheads and burnouts, hippies and ganstas, Phish dorks and Deadheads will be able to join hands, smoke, and sing in the immortal words of the great Bob Dylan: “We would not feel so all alone…EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED!”
Twelve-year-old lookin’ 2008 National League Cy Young Award winning pitcher and SF Giants starter Tim Lincecum is a stoner. How do we know, you ask? Well, the day before Halloween he was busted cruising up the Pacific Northwest in his Mercedes Benz (at around 74 mph) through the state of Washington when a motorcycle cop pulled him over.
There was a point in time in our country when it was perfectly legal to grow and possess as much weed as you wanted. So what we all really want is to RE-LEGALIZE marijuana. And, we want it without any taxation or regulation! Why shouldn’t everyone on planet earth be able to grow as much marijuana as they’d like without any intervention?
So who else wants to legalize weed MORE than those who enjoy consuming it? Cannabusinesses! You see, they don’t care how the government regulates marijuana…as long as they can sell it to you! And, if they’re the ONLY ones able to sell it to ya…well, even better. Legalizing weed is great for cannabusinesses because it expands their marketplace to EVERYBODY not just patients. And, to make sure everybody keeps coming back, there are laws being written right now that are limiting your rights to grow your own. Some of those laws will even completely prohibit growing your own if you live within a certain proximity to a dispensary.
In early February national media attention exploded around 
YES WE CANNABIS! Today kicks off the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Law’s 38th Annual Nation Conference in San Francisco. The event will be filled with folks from NORML over 500 policy activists, medical patients, cultivators, doctors, politicians, and clinical investigators.
Some resourceful 16-year-old kid in Ohio was either out of Zig Zags or realized a new use for the gospel…smoke it! Yep, the kid used a page torn from a bible as rolling papers!