BREAKING NEWS–National League Cy Young Award Winning Pitcher and SF Giants Starter Tim Lincecum is a Stoner

Tim Lincecum is Stuff Stoners LikeTwelve-year-old lookin’ 2008 & 2009 (click here for an update) National League Cy Young Award winning pitcher and SF Giants starter Tim Lincecum is a stoner. How do we know, you ask? Well, the day before Halloween he was busted cruising up the Pacific Northwest in his Mercedes Benz (at around 74 mph) through the state of Washington when a motorcycle cop pulled him over.

When Lincecum, rolled down his window, the trooper smelled some weed andĀ  asked him to hand it over. The pitcher reached into the dashboard console and pulled out a bag of weed and a pipe, Washington State Patrol trooper and spokesman Steve Schatzel said. So, uhm…that’s how we know he’s a stoner…

Lincecum, who’ll probably command $10 million annually starting next seasonĀ  only had 3.3 grams of weed with him (about an 1/8th), Schatzel said, which, Luckily for Lincecum is considered only enough for personal use. Lincecum did not appear to be impaired behind the wheel and is not being charged with a felony crime, Schatzel said.

Lincecum “was cited and released,” said the trooper who didn’t even recognize the pitcher. The speeding citation was for $122. Lincecum, who grew up in Bellevue Washington, is expected to be arraigned at the end of the month. Recently the stoner was named Sporting News’ NL Pitcher of the Year for the second consecutive year. Who else wonders if being stoned helps you toss a baseball? David Wells claims he pitched his 1998 perfect game while hung-over and who can forget Dock Ellis who pitched a no hitter for the Pirates back in the 70′s while trippin’ on acid?

6 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS–National League Cy Young Award Winning Pitcher and SF Giants Starter Tim Lincecum is a Stoner”

  1. bert
    November 6, 2009 at 12:40 am #

    looks like a stoner.

  2. Anonymous
    November 16, 2009 at 11:11 am #

    he looks high right now

  3. ostrov
    December 2, 2009 at 8:52 am #

    Thank you,
    very interesting article

  4. Zam
    January 24, 2010 at 3:25 pm #

    That’s an insult to 12 year olds!!!

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