There’s absolutely no way to NOT look like an asshole while playing a keytar. What the fuck is a keytar you ask? Well we’ll tell ya…it’s an instrument that’ll make you look like an asshole just by looking at it. It’s the lamest instrument of all time. It’s more lame than the oboe, [...]
Archive for November, 2009
November 20th, 2009 - 11:52 am § in BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS—Agents Seize $2.6 Million Worth of Christmas Bongs
// // Not all of us want a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas! If you’re expecting Santa to leave a new bong under your Christmas tree this year…you might be disappointed. And, it won’t be Saint Nick’s fault but rather the fault of buzzkilling customs officials at the Los Angeles Harb[...]
November 19th, 2009 - 12:52 pm § in BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS– Pot-Smoking Tim Lincecum Wins the Cy Young AGAIN (and is ordered to appear in court on pot charges)
// // Yet more proof that smoking a little weed from time to time will prevent you from doing anything productive with your life, 2008 Cy Young Award-winning pitcher Tim Lincecum just won the coveted title for the second time in a row! Oh, and he’s being forced to appear in court. Th[...]
November 16th, 2009 - 3:24 pm § in BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS–AMA Urges the Feds to Support Medical Marijuana
// // The American Medical Association has reversed its position on marijuana! Yep, the largest group of doctors in the USA (which really only amounts to about 17% of all practicing docs) now SUPPORTS investigation and clinical research on weed for medicinal use. They also urged the feds [...]
November 5th, 2009 - 4:02 pm § in BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS–National League Cy Young Award Winning Pitcher and SF Giants Starter Tim Lincecum is a Stoner
Twelve-year-old lookin’ 2008 & 2009 (click here for an update) National League Cy Young Award winning pitcher and SF Giants starter Tim Lincecum is a stoner. How do we know, you ask? Well, the day before Halloween he was busted cruising up the Pacific Northwest in his Mercedes Benz (at aro[...]
November 4th, 2009 - 4:21 pm § in BREAKING NEWS
BREAKING NEWS–Colorado Town Legalizes Weed
Breckenridge Colorado voted 72% to decriminalize up to a full ounce of weed for adults over 21.[...]
