-5 Showtime’s Weeds

XGGPj1tuzZUOq_fZvlyeSQ253248Showtime’s Weeds totally sucks, man. It’s so boring it’ll kill at least 7-billion brain cells by watching just one episode, man. Don’t do it! You know how many brain cells you’d kill if you smoked just one joint? Who fucking cares, right? Anyhow this, Weeds, show ain’t Stuff Stoners Like…shit it ain’t even for stoners. Weeds if for people who LOVE money more than they LOVE weed. Because that’s exactly what the show is about…a bunch of assholes who LOVE MONEY MORE THAN WEED! So what if there’s some greedy hot chick on the show? Everyone digs hot chicks…even hot chicks dig hot chicks. But, there are all kinds of hot pot chicks all over television, man. Remember Dukes of Hazzard with that stoned chick who’d wear denim panties all the time? She was hot. Terry from Three’s Company sold weed down at the Regal Beagle and was a super hottie. And c’mon, you couldn’t have tuned in to a single fucking game show in the past couple of decades, like Card Sharks, or The Price is Right, or our fave High Rollers without seeing some hot chicks who made their living pointing at shit while stoned. If we’re gonna pay for tv we’d way rather watch HBO’s Flight of the Conchords because those dudes are always baked, they’re funny as hell and that show is waaaay more stoney than Weeds, plus, they’ve got a really hot chick on there too. (hey there Mel, er…uhm…beautiful Kristen Schaal…call us)

GW433Weeds perpetuates harmful stereotypes just like DEA agents, marijuana prohibitionists, US President’s with the last name Bush, and that one fucking hold-out dentist motherfucker who still thinks Trident Sugarless Gum causes cavities! We’d do some research to flush out and list those negative  stereotypes and then proceed to make fun of ‘em, but we’ve never really watched an episode of Weeds. So instead we just did a Google search and stole some other haters’ shit and pasted it here to make our point. “The black mother is a large, domineering woman who rules the roost with pithy snark, the black daughter is a young, unwed mother with a surly attitude, the black son is a drugdealer, the Hispanic woman is a maid, the Hispanic man is a drugdealer, the young Indian guy works at Quikeemart and is a neutered, clueless naif, the young white son is a smart but awkward loser, the Jewish uncle is a conniving parasite, and the Jewish uncle’s love interest is a pretty, but masculine, militaristic Israeli.” Judging from all that judging  going on we can’t really tell if Weeds is a revolutionary new kind of programing or KKK propaganda (or both).

weeds-nakedBut, we’ve payed enough attention to realize that Weeds, however, ain’t doing shit to progress the legalization movement, man. They’re just trying to cash in on and market to stoners like Jack in the Box did with those lame-ass commercials featuring some stoner gettin’ all confused at the drive-up. And, sadly, because of the popularity of weed nowadays Weeds seems to have a lot of cultural capital at the moment which annoys the shit outta stoners! It’s a shame that Weeds really isn’t keeping up with the times, man, because cute suburban soccer mom’s in 13 states across the nation are selling and growing weed…LEGALLY! (Wouldn’t it be much cooler to focus on legally-run marijuana dispensaries? Oh you agree? Well, check out our MarijuanaLogues “the confesions of a legal stoner”.)

What’s really frightening about Weeds is how it spreads insideous misinformation about marijuana and undermines the marijuna movement PLUS casts stoners in a negative light. According to wiki/Weeds_(TV_series) the main character “Nancy Botwin was a loving, benevolent, all-American PTA soccer mom until her husband Judah suddenly dropped dead. To maintain the suburban lifestyle to which she was accustomed, Nancy entered the dangerous world of drug dealing. Her regular clients include…blah blah blah”.

Dangerous world of drug dealing? We thought the show was about selling WEED not DRUGS! How fucking destructive! We’ve been fighting marijuana prohibition and that Reefer Madness mentality since the fucking 30′s and language like this does nothing but DESTROY our efforts. Marijuana is MEDICINE! The American Medical Association recently reversed its position on marijuana and has urged the FEDS to support investigation and clinical research on weed for medicinal use and to reassess weed’s Schedule I controlled substance categorization.

So FUCK YOU WEEDS! Fuck you for perpetuating harmful stereotypes that damage all the hardwork we’ve all done to spread the truth about marijuana and our efforts to get the best medication on Earth into the hands of those who need it!

Q: Number of brain cells lost watching an episode of Weeds? A: 7 billion

Q: Number of brain cells lost smoking weed? A: 0

19 Responses to “-5 Showtime’s Weeds”

  1. Ras
    September 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm #

    # of brain cells killed watching weeds on weed?

    7000000000*0=0

  2. Anonymous
    September 16, 2009 at 10:52 am #

    7,000,000,000 + 0=7,000,000,000

  3. bloomdude
    September 16, 2009 at 11:08 am #

    Read CelebStoner’s “Weeds” Season 5 Recap here:

    http://www.celebstoner.com/200909012905/reviews/tv-movies/weeds-are-the-world-season-5-recap.html

  4. Kyler Durden
    September 16, 2009 at 5:33 pm #

    what are you talking about? the show is hilarious and enthralling you don’t obviously don’t have a fully functioning brain.

  5. luke
    September 16, 2009 at 11:00 pm #

    your just not smart enough to understand a sophisticated stoner show like weeds. The fact that you watched three’s company is proof enough that you probably flunked out of high school and cant understand half of what goes on in Weeds.

    I feel sorry for you… seriously

  6. Anonymous
    September 17, 2009 at 10:07 am #

    if u watched the show, u would c that in the new season, they open up a weed store legally in cali… just like the 1 ur talkin bout… so they r keeping up w/ times ur just a retard

  7. kurt
    September 17, 2009 at 10:07 am #

    if u watched the show, u would c that in the new season, they open up a weed store legally in cali… just like the 1 ur talkin bout… so they r keeping up w/ times ur just a retard

  8. lucyjane
    September 17, 2009 at 1:16 pm #

    Kudos!
    Show is just Hollywood glorifying stereotypes. Way to see through the bullshit!

  9. cgw
    September 18, 2009 at 8:37 am #

    Clearly, you’ve not seen anything beyond the first season. You know they are on the fifth season now, right? Anyway, you’re post might have had some small bit of value…four years ago. Seriously, you know not of what you speak. I’ll tell you. A lot of crazy shit has gone down on Weeds since that first season. It has been a very long time since “white soccer mom trafficking weed in suburbia” had a damn thing to do with this show.
    Catch up or shut up.

  10. stoned
    September 18, 2009 at 10:39 am #

    I still like weeds, i think its great show.

  11. PlantinPot
    October 7, 2009 at 11:28 am #

    I looove WEEEEDS!!! It is the shait!!

  12. Dank Hank
    October 11, 2009 at 9:45 am #

    Weeds is the shizznit! I LIKE to see gorgeous chicks. I state unequivocally, I never watched “Three’s Company.”

  13. jack
    October 20, 2009 at 3:54 pm #

    Watch weeds with someone who grows, they’ll spend the whole time screaming about how wrong all the growing stuff in the show is.

  14. Baschive
    December 2, 2009 at 12:25 pm #

    i never really watched the show but i heard its about some mom selling weed, what kinda shit is that

  15. ben
    December 25, 2009 at 2:57 am #

    that show is lame

  16. LucysPet
    December 28, 2009 at 8:27 pm #

    People need to stop OD’ing on the haterade. The show sucks. The theme song is perpetually stuck in my head. Her son is cute, though…so thumbs up for that.

  17. to anon/kurt
    January 12, 2010 at 7:08 pm #

    You can’t abbreviate the word ‘see’ to ‘c’ and the word ‘you’ to ‘u’ and ‘you’re’ to ‘ur’ and ‘are’ to ‘r’ and completely bungle your punctuation – and then call somebody else a retard.

    Bad, TV addict. Bad.

  18. GOD
    April 2, 2010 at 9:41 am #

    Sorry but the show is awsome!!!
    It gets better and better every year.
    What stoners don’t like is a STONER THAT THINKS HE OR SHE CAN TALK ON BEHALF OF ALL STONERS!

  19. Truth
    July 21, 2010 at 5:37 pm #

    Show sucked in season 1 and still sucks in season 5.

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